Monday, October 18, 2004

Political: Just to clear things up...

I think there may be some confusion about where I stand on the important issues of our day. So, I offer this post to clear things up.

I am evil.

I hate the environment. I don't want women, minorities, or poor people to be able to vote. I want tax cuts for me and my ultra-wealthy friends, and no one else. I think we should go to war with any nation whose leaders look at us cross-eyed. I am working to bring back the draft, especially for poor minorities. I think homeless people are all hopeless and should just be written off. I think that workers shouldn't have any rights, and should just shut up and be happy that they have a job. The last thing I want children and old people to have is decent healthcare. I want to destroy the economy and ship all our best jobs overseas. I pour used motor oil down storm drains, and I buy reams of copy paper just to burn in my fireplace. I drive a huge SUV everywhere I go. I hate kittens, babies, fishies, trees, women, the homeless, the elderly, the media, and France.

Yes, that's right. I'm a Republican.


Blogger DarksideQueen said...

it's about damm time you posted again.....i'm not political in anyway shape or form but your blogs are goddamm funny as hell!

12:45 PM, October 19, 2004  
Blogger Dove said...

Hahahaha... oh geez. That is so totally awesome. I love it.

7:02 PM, November 19, 2004  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was great! May I use it?

Kevin S
(for this email to work just remove all vowels left of @)

3:47 PM, December 02, 2004  
Blogger Ariel said...

That's hilarious.

10:42 AM, May 17, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you also have to disapprove of miscegenation. You left that one out.

8:46 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger cc said...

I think Howard Dean must read your blog. He has been spouting most of what you said almost verbatim.

12:27 PM, June 11, 2005  
Blogger Dove said...

I totally need a t-shirt with this on it.

10:15 AM, July 04, 2005  

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