Monday, November 08, 2004

Political: Taking Out Your Enemies

You heard it here first: George Bush is attempting to eliminate his enemies one by one, now that the election is over. I know, it sounds crazy, but the facts speak for themselves. Consider this: One day after the election, Elizabeth Edwards was diagnosed with cancer. Now, less than a week later, Howard Dean's daughter was injured in a collision. It's George Bush's fault, I tell you!

You may be thinking: "Wait, if he was taking out his enemies, wouldn't they be dead? And why is he going after the wives and children?" Well, that's the insane genius of this plan! If John Kerry was found floating face down in the Charles River, that would be just far too obvious. This way, nobody (except for me) will suspect him! Well, actually it's not really the President that's implementing this nefarious plan. He's far too stupid to come up with something this devious. It's actually the puppetmaster, Karl Rove! He's the one really pulling the strings anyway. But we all already knew that, so it can pretty much go without saying.

You may think I'm crazy now, but just you wait, one by one, non-fatal calamity will befall the enemies of our President. Better watch what you say, or you could end up with a broken leg, a flat tire, or a dead-end job!

P.S. (This post, like most of my posts, is entirely in jest. Please, if you are a liberal reading this, as much as you are tempted to, do not take it seriously. I'm kidding.)

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

z (at) absolutez (dot) net says:

Lol... It all makes sense now! Didn't you notice how quickly Christopher Reeves bit the dust after Kerry tried to use him against Bush in the debate!

12:32 PM, November 08, 2004  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah. and you see how Bill Clinton all of a sudden needed a triple bypass right after he planned on campaigning with Kerry?

amazing

1:15 PM, November 08, 2004  
Blogger Skor Grimm said...

How could I have overlooked those pieces of compelling supporting evidence?!? Score another one for the power of the masses. More on this troubling pattern as the story develops...

2:20 PM, November 08, 2004  

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