Thursday, January 13, 2005

The Living Constitution

Most Americans are taught all about the United States Constitution in grade school. We may even have had to memorize parts of it. Its precepts are familiar to most everyone in the country. I would imagine that even you know what the Constitution is all about. But, did you know that the Constitution is more than just a piece of paper with words on it? It's true. In fact, it has the ability to change and add to what it originally said! Really!

For instance, just today a federal judge in Atlanta determined that the constitution addresses stickers placed in school textbooks. These particular stickers stated simply that the Great Evolution may not be true. As such, apparently the Constitution believes that these are Christian stickers, and thusly are strictly forbidden. You see, the judge has the power to channel the mystic morphing properties of the Constitution, and to divine what the Constitution wishes to say at any given time. This judge's explanation of the Constitution's logic is as follows:
  1. Evolution may well be a theory.
  2. But, calling it a "theory" may make people not believe it.
  3. Those Christians were the ones who want it called a "theory."
  4. If you call it a "theory" then you're siding with those C-people.
  5. Therefore, a school calling Evolution a "theory" is a C-people thing to do, and is clearly forbidden by the Constitution.
Makes perfect sense, right? Where the Constitution says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof" you can see that it really means "don't put stickers in textbooks that may make people question Evolution."

I wonder where we could go if we took this same logic a little further... Say, aren't theft and murder major precepts of those C-people? If we have laws prohibiting theft and murder, doesn't that mean we're siding with the C-people? Doesn't that mean that those laws then violate the all-powerful separation of Church and State? I guess I'll have to ask District Judge Clarence Cooper about that one. I think I'll contact the ever-vigilant protector of my rights, the ACLU, about a lawsuit on that.

Source: CNN
Categories: News, Personal, Culture, Religion, Politics, Serious

1 Comments:

Blogger LotharBot said...

I think the main point of the ruling was that the stickers specifically said "Evolution is a theory..." rather than something more general like "Science textbooks contain many theories..." While it's true that evolution is a theory and should be approached with an open mind (as the sticker said), it's kind of silly to single it out as if it's the only theory that should be approached with an open mind. (It should still be constitutional, but it's silly.)

It's pretty clear that the stickers were motivated from a Christian perspective. There's no hiding that. The judge is overstepping his bounds by saying that something motivated from a Christian perspective is unconstitutional, but at least part of his ruling was correct.

2:42 PM, January 19, 2005  

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