Saturday, January 08, 2005

Seahawks Request Manual Recount

Seattle, WA - After a heartbreaking loss to the Saint Louis Rams, the Seattle Seahawks discovered an obscure state statute that allows them to ask for a recount, and potentially overturn the results of Saturday's game. Under RCW 67.24.010, the Seahawks have filed a request that each yard in the contest be recounted by hand. This process, never before implemented in an NFL game, would require teams of counters to measure the length of each players shoes, the distance covered by their stride, and to review the tapes from the game to count every yard gained or lost in the game.

The manual recount will take place in a rented Boeing facility in King County, since the contest took place at Qwest Stadium, which is within county borders. The counting teams will consist of one Seahawks fan, one Rams fan, and one King County Sports Authority employee. In order to request the recount, the Seahawks were required to place a down payment of $1.2 million, the estimated cost of the undertaking. If the results of the game are overturned, the franchise will have their money refunded to them, and the cost will be paid for by raising ticket prices for the coming season.

Seahawks spokesman Moron Brillant held a press conference late Saturday announcing the request for a manual recount. "I know this is a difficult process for all you sports fans out there, but right now a spot in the Divisional Playoffs sits empty, and the only way to fill it is to count every yard. The law allows us to request that this is done by hand, and so that is all we are asking. That every yard counts."

Many Rams fans have expressed outrage at the manual recount process, claiming that it is both inaccurate and unfair. When asked for a comment about these Rams fans, Mr. Brillant brushed them off as "children" and "bloggers in their pajamas."

The Saint Louis Rams were clearly thought to be the underdog going in to the contest with an 8-8 record, up against Seattle's 9-7. However, with a stunning drive late in the fourth quarter, they pulled ahead 27-20. The Seahawks made a valiant push in the last two minutes, but fell short of tying the contest, and potentially taking the lead, just 5 yards from the goal line.

The recount is scheduled to begin Monday.
Categories: News, Local, Politics, Humor

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