Monday, February 07, 2005

FutureFlash: Judge Voids Election, Democrats Declare Victory

March 18, 2005
Judge John Bridges gives the "L" sign to the DemocratsWenatchee, WA — Chelan County Superior Court Judge John Bridges issued a historic ruling today, setting aside November's gubernatorial election and removing former Attorney General Christine Gregoire from office. In his ruling he stated that "the gross misconduct and neglect by election officials in this election was sufficient to render the actual results of the contest for Governor unknown."

The ruling was a landmark victory for state Republicans, whose candidate Dino Rossi won the initial count and the machine recount, but lost in a Democrat-funded, "third time's a charm" hand recount. Despite this, and the fact that as he handed down his ruling the Judge uncharacteristically gave the Democrats the "L" sign and called them "total losers," the Democratic Party maintained the stance of claiming victory no matter what. Party attorney Jenny Durkan, who after Bridges' initial rulings in early February stated that the Democrats "got everything we wanted," insisted that "this is exactly the ruling we were hoping for." When asked to explain this sentiment, she went on to explain that "now these talk show radios will finally leave Ms. Gregoire alone." She declined to expand on this comment.

Local liberal blogs also lit up with the victory chant following the ruling, with clever insult-master David Goldstein leading the charge. The blogosphere was a virtual eruption of speculation and amateur interpretation, and Goldstein's latest post was full of it:
I asked Lawyer X for his expert interpretation on this ruling, and he has indicated to me that this ruling is in fact a clear victory for the Democrats. Looking at the ruling, it definitely sets a statutory precedent over the pragmatic grounds of jurisdiction for this election.
The Democrats were not alone in claiming victory following the ruling. The Republican Party also managed to find a glimmer of hope in the result. Party Chairman Chris Vance was elated: "While Judge Bridges refused to decree that the election be held again, he did confirm our assertion that the results of November's election are unknowable, and that Christine Gregoire is—excuse me, was—an illegitimate Governor."

Judge Bridges has not yet ruled on what remedy will be taken, now that the November election has been voided. A separate hearing to settle that matter is scheduled for next Friday.
Categories: News, Politics, Humor

7 Comments:

Blogger christmasghost said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:51 PM, February 07, 2005  
Blogger Josef said...

You totally for-get about Mary "Marummy" Lane, our state's great hero!

Josef of Josef's Public JournalP.S. Otherwise, great post!

3:53 PM, February 07, 2005  
Blogger christmasghost said...

One little wrong click....sorry about that.
I meant what I said earlier....I am still laughing from reading your post, it is hysterical ,especially the part about the Judge giving the loser hand sign...

4:41 PM, February 07, 2005  
Blogger Iguana said...

Good one!!

1:30 AM, February 08, 2005  
Blogger Iguana said...

Good one!!

1:33 AM, February 08, 2005  
Blogger Nathan said...

All hail Skor, King of Satire!

4:05 AM, February 08, 2005  
Blogger P Scott Cummins said...

Skor Grimm's wit is very dangerous. In fact, the Ruling Democrat Oligarchy forces him to register a Concealed Wit Carry Permit - and Jon Steward has brought special legislation (the Assault-by-Grimm Ban) passed in New York, San Francisco and Washington DC. Fortunately we have the NRA (National Rant Association) protecting our right to keep and bear Skor Grimm on our blogrolls. Lock and Load!

9:22 AM, February 08, 2005  

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