Monday, February 21, 2005

Public Service Announcement: Washington Weather

Rain in Seattle.  Lots of rain.Rain in Seattle.  Lots of rain.Attention California residents. This is a public service announcement. Please be aware that the weather reports that you have been seeing on television, hearing on the radio, or reading on the internet regarding pleasant weather in Washington are all 100% fabrications. Contrary to these spurious reports, the weather here in Seattle--as well as most of Washington--has for the past three months consisted of nothing but dark clouds, rain, wind, and thunderstorms. In fact, this is what the weather is always like here. Even during the summer. It is very dark, very gloomy, not something you would enjoy visiting, and absolutely not something that you would ever dream of leaving your California paradise to live in.

As it turns out, the government of California has determined that the state has become too crowded. In an effort to curb the population growth and work toward the eventual goal of population decline, the Department of Population Information and Scientific Supervision is undertaking a massive campaign of disinformation. Their hope is that citizens will move out of the state willingly, before more drastic measures must be taken.

Do not be taken in by these pseudo-scientific charlatans, and their promises of better weather in Washington. It is not true. You are being fed lies by your government. We haven't seen the sun in eighty days. Sometimes it's hard to even believe that the sun still exists, it's that dismal.

Categories: News, Local, Humor


Blogger Nathan said...

Is there really a mass of incandescent gas in the sky? It seems hard to believe that the overcast could hide a gigantic nuclear furnace. Our opinion is that it is all a cruel hoax. Only the gray, dreary clouds exist.

(This message has been brought to you by the Washington State Secret Police and the Department of Orthodox Publicity)

12:01 PM, February 21, 2005  

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