Thursday, March 10, 2005

Costco Purchases the Town of Kirkland

Kirkland Signature Police
In a press conference today, Issaquah-based Costco Wholesale Corporation announced that they have purchased the city of Kirkland, WA. CEO Jim Sinegal explained the rational behind the monumental acquisition "Our signature brand is already named after the town, and our pockets are just overflowing with cash lately, so we figured hey, why not?"

Changes in city operations, while few, will be noticeable to residents. The most visible change will be the replacement of all city signage bearing the Kirkland name will be updated to the Kirkland Signature logo. An example of the new city police car design (pictured above) was unveiled at the press conference. Other changes will include new bulk-rate pricing schemes for city services, including road maintenance, water/sewer, and building permits. In addition, city residents will be charged a $45-$100 annual "membership fee," which will fund improved city services. The most welcome change comes in the raising of the minimum city wage to $12.50 an hour.

It remains to be seen how the people of Kirkland will adjust to this development, but most residents are optimistic.
Categories: Local, Humor


Blogger Iguana said...

What a great idea! Now, Starbucks should buy Seattle. Then, all the residents could walk around with tip jars without feeling any shame.

11:07 PM, March 11, 2005  

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