Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Punishing Winter Weather

Politically Driven Weather Phenomenon?While pondering the weather this morning, I came to a startling revelation. In the interest of the betterment of society and public health and safety, I present to you the following observations.

Observe the 2004 election map shown at right, with the standard color-coding of R-voting states in red and D-voting states in blue. If you click on the map to view the full version, you will notice that I have taken the liberty of adding some weather icons on the map. These weather icons represent each of this (2004-2005) winter's major weather-related events. Allow me to briefly summarize each of them, and provide links to news articles, so you know that I'm not just making this up.

For those of my readers who do not have a free Seattle Times archive account, and are too lazy/paranoid to create one, you may use the following: Username: skorsreaders | Password: thisisthepass
Northeast
In late January, the Northeast states were dumped on by a "lethal blizzard." Crippling snow debilitated most of these states for nearly a week in the worst snow storm most area residents could recall in their lifetime. Massachusetts in particular was stricken the worst.

Upper Midwest
Minnesota, Wisconsin, and the surrounding areas suffered an extended extreme freeze this winter, even worst than most years. With temperatures more than 50 below zero in some areas, residents were heard to remark that "it gets old after a while."

California
From late December all the way through late February, California was pounded by storm after storm after storm, with a good amount of deadly mudslides mixed in for good measure. With over 30 inches and counting, the "Golden" state has already received more rain this season than any in the past 115 years, and is easily on track to set an all-time record.

Pacific Northwest
Winter itself was particularly not punishing in the Pacific Northwest. With unusually warm temperatures and low amounts of precipitation, the only immediate indication of trouble came in the form of closed ski resorts. However, the real punishment dealt by this winter's weather is yet to come. The coming summer is shaping up to be especially dry, so much so that the Governor-for-now has declared a statewide drought emergency.
What does this all mean? As I hope you have guessed by now, when you look at the 2004-2005 winter weather as a whole, it becomes obvious that God Almighty is dealing out His punishment against the states that did not vote for His candidate in November 2004. Think about it. Look at the map. The proof is right before your eyes, undeniable. Unlike some people, I don't have to misrepresent the facts to fit my theory. The facts come together and make my theory.

I urge you to think about this the next time you have a ballot in your hands. If not for your own sake, do it for the children.

Source: Seattle Times Archives
Categories: News, Religion, Politics, Humor

1 Comments:

Blogger countjrg said...

That’s hilarious!!!

1:51 PM, March 17, 2005  

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