Monday, April 18, 2005

Project CRAP: Week 15 Report

Click here for the explanation of Project CRAP
Box size: 15" wide by 11" tall by 9" deep.
Total Weight of CRAP: 11.38 lbs
Depth of CRAP: 4 1/2"
New Pieces of CRAP: 10
Total Pieces of CRAP: 178
LowLight of the Week: The AOL CD; the veritable mascot of junk mail. As hard as it is to believe, it took until week 15 of Project CRAP before this wonderful specimine was finally delivered to the "Current Resident" of Skor's abode. Who can know all the mysterious forms that the AOL CD has taken over the years. Well, perhaps these guys might know... At any rate, due to its size, color scheme, and general resistence to burning, this AOL CD *achem* "wins" the LowLight of the week award. By the way, don't let anyone tell you that you can't use up all your free hours. 1275 hours in 55 days is only 23 hours, 10 minutes, 54 seconds a day. Anyone who can't satisfy all their bodily functions in the remaining 49 minutes and 6 seconds each day doesn't belong on the internet in the first place.
LowLight of Week 15: America Online
Click for a larger version of this week's winner.

Dishonorable Mention: Verizon DSL just keeps trying and trying for that third LowLight title. On almost any other week, this retarded fake classified ad would have taken the cake, hands down. But none can compete with the mighty AOL, champion of CRAP the world over.
Week 15 Dishonorable Mention: Verizon DSL
Click for a larger version of this week's loser.

Dishonorable Mention: There were many contenders for the LowLight award this week, including this gem from LAZBOY, a business that itself is a metaphor for the American culture. Pictured below is only a portion of the gigantic, 4-page spread that appeared this week packed into the "Savings Source" mailing.
Week 15 Dishonorable Mention: LAZBOY
Click for a larger version of this week's loser.

Comments: The weight of the CRAP was definitely bolstered this week by the appearance of the AOL CD, and in general the rate of CRAP arrival seems to be picking up slightly. Though the current mathematically projected total weight still sits at approximately 39 pounds, Skor's gut instinct tells him that it may yet pick up steam and break that 50 pound mark. Only time will tell.
CRAP Box at 15 Weeks

Categories: Features


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