Monday, April 25, 2005

Project CRAP: Week 16 Report

Click here for the explanation of Project CRAP
Box size: 15" wide by 11" tall by 9" deep.
Total Weight of CRAP: 12.28 lbs
Depth of CRAP: 5 1/4"
New Pieces of CRAP: 13
Total Pieces of CRAP: 191
LowLight of the Week: This week's winner is none other than the delightful neighborhood retail outlet, ______'s Drug & Gift (revealing ______'s full name would divulge too much information about Skor's location and true identity). This place has everything. Ever wanted a lamp shaped like a gaudy handbag? Skor certainly has. Well no need for you or Skor to sit around pining any longer. Just head on over to ______'s and pick one up for just $19.99! While you're at it, go ahead and pick up a few dozen for all your family and friends. This catalog is just full of interesting tidbits of information. Did you know that belly painting is "the hottest fashion statement around among young, hip moms-to-be"? You learn something new every day.
LowLight of Week 16: ______'s Drug & GiftLowLight of Week 16: ______'s Drug & Gift
Click for a larger version of this week's winner.     Click for a larger version of this week's winner.

Dishonorable Mention: CRAP in Skor's mailbox just can't get away with using a phrase like "BEST _____ IN THE UNIVERSE!" and not at least get a dishonorable mention. Skor has serious doubts that any human taste testers have even bothered to try every pizza in the galaxy, let alone the entire universe. Pfft.
Week 16 Dishonorable Mention: Spartas Pizza & Spaghetti House
Click for a larger version of this week's loser.

Comments: Slowly but surely the CRAP is gaining momentum for Skor's predicted summer bulge. Back in winter, CRAP would usually only arrive on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, but now CRAP tends to come almost all six days of the postal week. At least the CRAP is getting a little more creative and bold. Back in January "BEST IN THE UNIVERSE!" would have been a guaranteed LowLight, but now it just barely garners a dishonorable mention. It is frightening, really.
CRAP Box at 16 Weeks

Categories: Features


Blogger LotharBot said...

Only maddox may legitimately use the phrase "best _______ in the universe!"

11:21 AM, April 26, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I ever get your address, i will sign you up for so much junk mail. I want my tickets back. You stole them.

Jk :)


8:24 PM, April 27, 2005  

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