Thursday, April 28, 2005

Sports in Seattle

For many residents of Seattle, the only thing more depressing than the thought of Californian immigration to Washington is organized sports. The Mariners have never been to the World Series, the Seahawks have never been to the Super Bowl, and the Sonics have only managed to win the NBA Championship once, over 25 years ago. Sure, our WNBA team—the Seattle Storm—are the current *achem* reigning champions, but honestly, who really cares about the WNBA? About three people in all of Seattle, including the team, their family, and their friends, that's who.

WhirlyBallIn spite of all this, there is yet hope for sports fans of Washington. We need not stoop so low as to feign interest in women's basketball to enjoy the glory of having a winning team. No, we simply need turn our attention to Seattle's most overlooked, and more importantly, winningest sports team, the Emerald City Storm. The Emerald City Storm compete in the glorious sport of the future: WhirlyBall. They are not only the reigning WhirlyBall champions, but in the illustrious thirteen-plus year history of WhirlyBall tournaments (nearly twice as long as the WNBA, in case anyone is counting), they have won the top championship all but one time.

As an aside, it seems odd that the superior, dozen-plus championship winning Emerald City Storm would allow a bunch of 30-second-shot-clock chicks to come along and steal their winning name. Skor predicts an upcoming lawsuit.

WhirlyBall is the perfect sport for a hi-tech city like Seattle. Played on an electric floor, players maneuver 300-pound bumper cars while using a plastic scoop to hurl a plastic ball into vertically-oriented circles on either end of the court. Unlike the archaic sports of baseball, football, and basketball, physical stress has been virtually eliminated in favor of electrically-driven machine power. Lest you think that this makes WhirlyBall an easy game to master, you are encouraged to try it out yourself and prove that thought wrong.

So while the Mariners struggle to stay out of last place in their division, and the Sonics flounder their way out of the playoffs again, keep your eyes on the Emerald City Storm for some hi-tech sports action where the Seattle team actually wins. Because we all know that winning isn't the most important thing in life, but it is third, just after eating and sleeping.
Categories: Local


Blogger Kydzinc said...

Please SAVE MY PAGE and come and take a poll! I promise it's for a worty cause, you wont regret it.

9:49 AM, April 29, 2005  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home