Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Redundant Names

spatulasOkay, whose idea was this? How is it that all three of the items pictured here are called "spatulas"? That just doesn't make any sense. If I turn so someone and say "hey, can you grab me a spatula," there's only a 1 in 3 chance that I'll actually get the tool that I want. That's just frustrating.

Even Spatula City really only specializes in one kind of "spatula" (the furthest-left one). This kind of confusing naming is just asking for... well... confusion. This is a problem that afflicts more than just kitchen and spackle utensils, too. What does a furry little rodent have in common with a computer input device? Just the confusing name. So as usual, I would like to propose a probably ridiculous solution.

I suggest that different things not be allowed to have the same name. It's that simple. For instance, the three items pictured above should be called (from left to right): a food lifter, a food scraper, and a putty scraper. See? No room for confusion there.

In fact I have already been applying this important clarification tactic for some time. I even apply it to people's names. It just gets too confusing to talk about what "Jon" or "Katie" was telling me last weekend when the person I'm talking to and I each know 5 Jons and 7 Katies. So the only the first person I meet with a given name gets to keep that name. Everyone after that gets a new, made-up name from me. Jon #2 becomes "Rainbow," Jon #3 becomes "FireBert," and Jon #4 becomes "Lava Toes." You get the idea.

Life is so much less confusing when everything has its own unique name.

P.S. (In other news, I think every weekend should be a three-day weekend. Wait, scratch that. A four-day weekend! Wait, no... A five-day—oh, forget it, let's just not work at all!)
Categories: Personal, Culture


Blogger Nathan said...

I think FireBert needs to think up a better commando name.

5:08 AM, May 17, 2005  

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