Friday, May 06, 2005

Study Proves Benefits of Speeding

Name that military base.A study released today finally proves what most Americans behind the wheel already knew: speeding saves time. Specifically, speeding saves the average American roughly two minutes a day. This number was determined by analyzing vast amounts of data and performing deeply complicated calculations on the numbers—it definitely wasn't pulled out of thin air.

The Grimm Institute—a highly regarded and definitely not fictitious think tank—conducted the rigorous study of the nation's drivers over the past three hours. They found that the average American spends 55 minutes each day in the car, and travels 29 miles, averaging 31 miles per hour. If not for speeding, the amount of time spent daily behind the wheel could likely be 57 or even 58 minutes.

The study also showed that in addition to the precious saved minutes, drivers who speed experience a number of other fringe benefits:
  • Getting to stop at the next traffic signal 30 seconds before those who don't speed.
  • Burning more gas per mile, thus resulting in more frequent joyous visits to the friendly neighborhood gasoline station.
  • Greater likelihood of getting to know the local EMTs and hot, camo-wearing traffic enforcement (see picture).
  • Satisfied feeling of supporting local government upon payment of speeding citations.

Categories: News, Humor

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