Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Graduation Season Is Upon Us

June is graduation season, and what would a graduation season be without a series of outrageous stories about graduating high school students? Today's example come from our own back yard, Garfield High School, where it seems to this nobody blogger as if something has gone wrong. You see, Garfield's graduation class this year contains 406 students—44 of whom have been bestowed the title of "valedictorian."

Holy Valedictorians, Batman!Yes, you read that right. Over 10% of the graduating class will be sharing the title of "best in class." Somehow, that just doesn't seem right. Maybe it's that the term Valedictorian used to mean something, like that the bearer of the title worked extremely hard to have the very best record of all their peers. Now, that is not to say that these 44 students did not each work very hard, but has our society gone so far off the deep end that we can't name just one person as the top of their class, for fear of hurting everyone else's feelings? Obviously the answer is yes.

Of course, who could forget 2003's favorite crazy valedictorian, Blair Hornstine? Reporting in at the extreme opposite end of the scale, Ms. Hornstine actually sued her school so that she could be the one and only valedictorian in her class. Never mind that she had an unfair advantage over her peers, she wanted to be the only one, and dang it, she was going to be!

There can be only one.Is there no happy medium between these two extremes? Most likely, no. But there are probably plenty of unhappy mediums! Speaking as someone who was bestowed the title of valedictorian of their high school graduating class, and also as someone who shared the title with five other classmates, Skor is particularly qualified to offer just such a solution. (As if Skor has ever required himself to be qualified when offering solutions before—ha!) When Skor was in high school, he took all the available honors classes, got all A's, and also put forth very little effort. Honestly, high school is a joke. Most of the time you have to try pretty hard not to get at least a C, and you can breeze through with all A's by doing barely more than the minimum required. Remember, Skor knows this first hand.

With that said, and given the fact that by definition a valedictorian is only one person, the most sensible solution would be for the high school administrators to arbitrarily pick one of the eligible candidates to be the sole valedictorian. If the administrators were too wussy to choose, then the candidates would have to compete in an all-out nerd-brawl for dominance. This would probably involve a lot of reading, a good dose of writing, and a large pile of calculators.

It's only fair.

Source: Seattle Times
Categories: News, Local


Anonymous Kiddo said...

I've always thought that the title of valedictorian was one of the most amazing things that could happen to a hard-working graduate. I just graduated last month, out of a total class of five--we were all homeschooled--so picking a valedictorian would have been a joke. We were probably all valedictorians in "our parents' eyes." ^_^

The local high school (the one I would have been attending if I didn't homeschool) doesn't recognize valedictorians, either. They recognize the top ten GPA's. What a way to water down achievement.

9:21 PM, June 15, 2005  
Blogger cc said...

44 out of 406 is a little higher percentage than Colfax High School over here on the east side of the state in beautiful Whitman County. Not by much tho... The Colfax High School Class of 2005 included 51 graduates with 3 valedictorians, 1 salutatorian. The three vals gpa - 4.0, the sal -3.995. Incredible huh? Can you say grade inflation?

9:36 PM, June 18, 2005  

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