Friday, June 03, 2005

Political: WEC Closing Arguments

At this very moment, I'm listening to closing arguments in the WEC Playoffs, and in order to spare you the pain of enduring the news reports on the situation, I'd like to summarize the closing arguments of each side in this contest.Man, this is a toughie.
Republicans
This election was screwed up. I mean really screwed up. Really, seriously, irrepairably screwed up. Christine Gregoire was certified as the winner of this election, but everyone involved knows that there was in reality no way to tell who really won. Election officials have even testified to this on the stand in this courtroom. Your Honor, to let this election stand would be to make a mockery of Washington State elections, present and future. We ask that you do the right thing and throw it out.
Democrats
You know what? We actually agree with these bozos on one point: This election was really screwed up, and we don't really know who should have won. You know what, though? Our lady is the one in office, so nyah-nyah, nyah nyah-nyah! Read the law, Your Honor. It says that they have to prove where all the illegal votes went, which you and I both know that they can't possibly do that. So you have no choice but to let this absolute mess stand.

Categories: News, Local, Politics

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