Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Project CRAP: Week 21 Report

Click here for the explanation of Project CRAP
Box size: 15" wide by 11" tall by 9" deep.
Total Weight of CRAP: 16.90 lbs
Depth of CRAP: 6 3/4"
New Pieces of CRAP: 22
Total Pieces of CRAP: 266
LowLight of the Week: Wow, just wow. Safeway went absolutely nuts this week, mailing five things in the course of less than three days. We have: an oversized postcard, a "virtual tour" DVD, the usual weekly ad, a second copy of the usual weekly ad—mailed separately two days later, and a thick coupon book. Wait, didn't Safeway eliminate coupons with their revolutionary Club Card? Hmm. Anyway, for future reference, any company that sends over a third of a pound of CRAP in one week will easily secure themselves the LowLight "award." What a waste.
LowLight of Week 21: Safeway
Click for a larger version of this week's winner.

Dishonorable Mention: Any other week this ridiculous stunt would have easily secured the LowLight dishonor. What we have is something that looks very official on the outside, even going so far as to use the word "OFFICIAL" in big bold type. When you open it up you discover that in fact it is just some lousy car dealership attempting to get you to trade in your completely functional car for a newer, more expensive one. The finishing touch comes in the ludicrous scratch-off box on the front, which tells you to "match your winning number..." Hey look, this one is a winner! The number matches the $1,000 shopping spree! Let's read the fine print... "Odds of winning online shopping spree 4996:5000." Right. So everyone "wins" an "online shopping spree." Excellent.
Week 21 Dishonorable Mention: Kirkland Chrysler Jeep
Click for a larger version of this week's loser.

Comments: This week set a new weight record, coming in at 1.36 pounds, just barely edging out Week 1. This was due entirely to Safeway, whose CRAP weighed in at 0.39 pounds all by itself. However, even without Safeway's shenanigans, it was still quite the banner week, with the other 17 pieces of CRAP still setting a piece-wise record. It probably had to do with Memorial Day, which is of course the day that we all are supposed to remember to go out and SHOP!
CRAP Box at 21 Weeks

Categories: Features

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