Thursday, July 28, 2005

Greeting Cards

WARNING: Marginally funny rant ahead.

I hate greeting cards. What a waste of space, time, and money. Sending someone a greeting card is like saying:
You are special and important to me, just not so important that I'm willing to tell you so in person, or even call you on the phone. In fact, I'm willing to spend money to avoid having to interact with you directly.
As if that weren't bad enough, thanks to the Internet we now have online greeting "cards," so you can say:
You are special and important to me, but your importance does not even reach the marginal level required for me to send an actual, physical card.
How did such an anti-social practice become such a social norm? Why is it that when you give someone a gift, for some reason you are expected to spend another $8.00 on a worthless piece of paper with a canned greeting printed on it that will be read once and then thrown away? Why not just attach a little note that includes your name so they know who it's coming from, then tell them how you feel out loud. You know, actually interact with them. Revolutionary, I know.

greeting cardsWhen it's my birthday (or some other special occasion), it would mean a whole lot more to me if people who cared about me actually took the time to call or visit me, instead of just sending me an impersonal piece of paper that they happened to put their name on. And don't even get me started on "thank you" cards. Wait, too late. If you're so thankful for what someone did for you or gave to you, why not tell them so with your voice? Call them up and say "thank you, I really appreciated that thing you did, it meant a lot to me." Maybe even do something nice for them in return. It isn't as hard as you think, really. I actually once had a relative chew me out because I took too long to send out "thank you" cards for something. Excuse me? If people giving me gifts are going to get upset because I didn't send them a "thank you" card promptly enough, I have a feeling that they're not quite clued in to the spirit of giving. I don't want those kind of gifts in the first place.

That is probably at the root of why I hate greeting cards. They tend to serve as a substitute for the true spirit of giving. Instead of sharing what we're feeling, we're supposed to buy a card that says what someone else thinks we should be feeling. Pardon my language, but screw that. Open up and talk to people. You just might catch yourself actually sharing your own, real feelings with someone, and connecting with them on a deeper level.

I would not shed a tear if the entire greeting card industry collapsed tomorrow. In fact, I would probably throw a party.

Update (07.28.2005): Someone thinks they are pretty funny:
har har

image sourceCategories: Personal, Culture, Capitalism, Serious


Blogger DaButtminster said...

I felt sorry for Skor, so I went to and sent him a picture of a pretty flower along with this:

Skor Grimm

Thinking of you with
warmth and concern.

I'm so sorry that you dislike e-cards. I hope this e-card makes you feel better.

11:04 AM, July 28, 2005  
Anonymous DBM's Wife said...

Yet . . . somehow, you remain friends.

3:23 PM, July 28, 2005  
Anonymous Mered said...

Aww, that's such a nice card! Very thoughtful of you DBM.

8:00 PM, July 28, 2005  
Anonymous Splatter said...

You are in my thoughts...

...This thought will self destruct in 10 seconds. 10-9-8-7------------
Seriously though, my wife loves giving "greeting cards". She uses scissors, felt markers, glue, glitter, then commandeers my printer/scanner to create her original cards. Nothing says "Hey, I spent time on this" like hand made card.

As for me? Well, I'm a man. If I remember, it must be special. Thank God I have a thoughtful wife.

BTW, how much are birthday cakes at 7/11?

9:47 PM, July 28, 2005  

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