Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Making Marriage Magnificent

Check out this article in today's Seattle Times: Marriage as learned behavior: Can divorce be foretold? Don't worry, it's much more interesting than the headline lets on. Let's take some time to consider some of the gems contained in this piece:
someone cut off the top of that guy's headHaving seen their parents give up on a marriage, people are more likely to bail when their own relationships turn turbulent.
You don't say? Who could have guessed that children who are brought up being shown first hand that it's okay to end a marriage when it becomes inconvenient might grow up believing that themselves? Astounding.
Contrary to what many people believe, "test driving" a relationship by living together before marriage also reduces the odds of success.
I think they meant to say "contrary to what many people convince themselves." It reminds me of a scene in one of the two shows I watch on television, Arrested Development:
Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters.
Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people?
Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but ... but it might work for us!
Americans are less likely to divorce if they ... don't have children before wedlock.
Another utterly astounding revelation. Truly, it is a complete shock to learn that having children outside of marriage is a strong indicator of whether or not a marriage will last. It is almost as if people who participate in one immoral activity (baby-makin' outside marriage) are more likely to do another (terminating their marriage "vows").
...couples should cultivate a long-term view of marriage, understanding that even the strongest relationships sometimes will be buffeted by trials.
A "long-term view of marriage"?!? You don't say! What with most wedding "vows" containing the phrase "as long as you both shall live" that one comes as a real shocker. I'll have to write that down somewhere. To make my marriage work long-term, I need to "cultivate a long-term view of marriage." Fascinating.
Sometimes parents use the children to justify divorce. "Parents think, 'If I'm happier, my children will be happier.' That's not necessarily true. Children want access to both parents."
Yes, that's right. We're not doing this selfish action for selfish reasons—it's for the children! I'm sure that's what they think, because that's what they've "deluded themselves into thinking."

Lastly, one thing that the article left out, but I feel compelled to mention, is that if you look like the couple pictured above on your wedding day, call the whole thing off. If you're not a whole heck of a lot happier than those two, you're definitely not starting off on the right foot.

It seems that perhaps a better headline for this piece would have been: "Avoiding Divorce: Turns out the Christians were right." Here's an idea, everyone. How about you don't get up in front of a bunch of people and vow to "love, comfort, honor and keep, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, and be faithful only to one another so long as you both shall live," unless you actually mean it. This world would be a whole lot better if people actually kept their promises, don't you think?

P.S. (I do not mean to imply that Christians somehow "have it all figured out" or are even necessarily less likely to divorce. Just that following Godly Christian principles (you know, that stuff in the Bible) leads to long-lasting marriages. There are plenty of "Christians" that do not strive to live by Godly Christian principles—which is also sad.)

Source: Seattle Times
image sourceCategories: News, Culture, Serious


Blogger Nathan said...

Once again, Skor puts the "deceptively" in "deceptively silly blogger." Very good post.

4:50 PM, July 27, 2005  

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