Monday, July 18, 2005

Substantive Post Missing

ooohhh... plasma.I was hoping to make a post today. You know, the usual semi-literate, rambling, dopey, Skor - thinks - he's - funny - but - he's - really - just - pathetic, comments about the latest news or trends. Unfortunately, there just isn't anything funny going on today. Not one thing. Nada.

So, instead I'm forced to use this space for more Brain Ooze.

So okay, one time I was walking down my driveway when I saw this guy in a bright, lemon-colored tie-dye shirt walking along the street. He looked over at me and yelled "Hey, Charlie!" Well my name isn't Charlie, so I walked over to him and punched him right in the gut. Of course he doubled over in laughter, highly amused at how weak my punch was. Then he pulled a stun-gun thingy out of his pocket and thrust it at me, saying "Hey, my stun gun is broken. Can you fix it?" Well of course I'm no stun-gun scientist, so I gave him ten gallons of orange juice.

Speaking of orange juice, have you ever seen anyone actually stick a straw into an orange and drink the juice? I remember seeing that in commercials back in the day, and I'm just not even sure if that's really possible. What would happen to the peel?

Oh, I remember one time when I had this really bad sunburn, and it was peeling. I was like the human onion. Except humans aren't like onions. Ogres are like onions. They have layers, you know. For some reason that makes me think about parfaits... huh.

So anyway finally I walked back up my driveway to my house, only to discover that the cows had come home and trampled all my corn! It was quite distressing. I had to steal some of farmer John's corn, which was no easy feat considering the pack of six dozen ravenous doberman/pitbull mutts he has guarding his cornfield. Let me tell you, you don't want to mess with doberman/pitbull mutts.

Trust me on that one.
Categories: Personal

2 Comments:

Blogger Ariel said...

I was following you perfectly until you got to the part about the cows coming home. C'mon! Now where did that come from??

7:47 PM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Kiddo said...

I'd call that a classic Skor post.

11:41 PM, July 19, 2005  

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