Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Political: Whose fault is it?

Do you have a problem? Perhaps your dog is misbehaving, or your car keeps breaking down. Maybe your kid is fat (that's him on the right below), or your job bites the wax tadpole. Well fear not, because the Democratic Party of the United States of America have determined the source of all your problems. To put it succinctly: It's George Bush's fault.

Yes that's right. No matter the ailment, no matter the afflicted soul, no matter who, what, when, or where; the why of all of today's problems comes down to one man, President Bush. For instance, let's take a closer look at the problem of fat kids. The Democratic National Committee published a press release yesterday showing in great detail how this problem is clearly George Bush's fault. Let's take a look at some of their primary arguments.
Fat kids?  It's Bush's fault."His [President Bush] personal habits indicate that physical fitness is not just fun and games for him. Don't our kids deserve the same opportunities to be physically fit? President Bush should stop running from his responsibility and make sure that all American children have access to physical fitness programs."
That's right. Because children don't have the same opportunities that the President does to maintain healthy personal habits. It's the government's job to provide programs for them. Children are incapable of being physically active without the helpful government holding their hands and showing them the way, but Big Bad Bush isn't holding up the government's end of that bargain. Shame on him.
Doctors gave President Bush a clean bill of health in his annual checkup this weekend and White House spokesperson Dana Perino proclaimed him to be "in superior health." However, America's youth are not so lucky. While obesity has been declared an epidemic in this country, Bush's education policy is putting children at risk with cuts in physical education and school athletic programs
See, without programs it's nothing more than luck that determines one's level of health, especially the children. How dare the President "cut" government programs that force children to be physically active. How else are they going to learn to properly exercise and work out their bodies? Certainly not from their parents. Without government programs, children are at risk! It is only by the good graces of government programs that all our nation's children do not puff up like giant balloons full of lard.
USA Today surveyed state high school sports associations and found 34 states in which associations say at least some school districts are charging students to play sports. Pay-to-play fees have cropped up or ballooned at schools in Alaska, Ohio, Massachusetts, Michigan, Kansas and other states. The fees grew from $75 to $250 in one Massachusetts school district two years ago.
Good Heavens! Even the children that do want to be active are being required to pay to participate in extra-curricular sports activities! The horror! President Bush should know that children are entitled to have their sports paid for entirely by the government. Clearly Mr. Bush is on a vicious quest to fatten up our nation's young, so his rich evil Republican friends can eventually eat them!

Won't somebody think of the children?

Source: Yahoo News via Drudge
image sourceCategories: Politics

2 Comments:

Blogger Ariel said...

Brilliant.

"See, without programs it's nothing more than luck that determines one's level of health..."

Funny, I've heard my in-laws use this same argument, only insert "genetics" in the place of "programs."

7:59 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Jason said...

So now the President is to blame because parents don't make sure their kids get enough exercise?

6:23 AM, August 03, 2005  

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