Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Skor Needs Help

I was thinking the other day to myself, I thought:
Self, why isn't Skor Grimm as popular as other blogs? Skor is talented, witty, good-looking, tea-drinking, and maniacally egotistical, so what else could he possibly be lacking? What is keeping Skor Grimm from rising up out of the primordial blogging ooze?
I thought about that for a while, then I got distracted by a dandelion seed that floated by that made me think of this one time when I was walking down an alley downtown and a fluffy white cat leapt from a fire escape and pounced on my face. He was biting and scratching and I was wailing and screaming "AHH! Get it off me, get it off!" I had my face wrapped up entirely in bandages for a month after that. Eventually I finished reminiscing about that and got back to thinking about this blog. That's when it hit me—Skor Grimm needs an intern.

peonThink about it, Master Yoda has an intern, and he's super popular. Nearly 80,000 visitors in the last four months, his blog has received. Skor Grimm has only had 10,000. Yes, Skor definitely needs an intern. But how can I find the right person for the job? In what seemed like a stroke of amazing luck, an answer came from the radio on my drive home. Some website had composed a free guide to help with just this problem. It is called How To Find The Right Person In 90 Days, and it sounded like just what I needed! So I rushed to the site as soon as I got home and downloaded this free-but-valuable resource.

Unfortunately, I was in for an unpleasant surprise. The free guide was not nearly as helpful as they made it out to be on the radio. In fact, it instructed me to do all sorts of things that as far as I could tell had nothing to do with finding a good intern. What does "doing some quick but revealing soul-searching" or "expanding your options and letting you in on the secrets of conversation and body language" have to do with interns? I was so confused, but I read through the entire guide anyway. Let me tell you, there isn't anything in there at all that helped me find the right person for the job. I think I'm going to demand my money back.

So, Skor Grimm is still internless. But at least I got to remember that cat mauling, so the ordeal isn't a total loss.
image sourceCategories: Personal, Internet


Blogger Nathan said...

You know, you should ask Bill Clinton. I hear he's an expert on interns, and he's sort of at loose ends right now.

10:02 AM, August 31, 2005  
Anonymous Father Cory said...

Getting mauled by a cat isn't always good, though. You shouldn't make a habit of it ;)

1:03 PM, August 31, 2005  

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