Thursday, September 01, 2005

A Good Excuse

So you want to know why there haven't been any posts today? Okay, I'll tell you. I have been unable to get to a computer today until just this moment, due to the fact that a giant pile of dirty dishes in my kitchen sink collapsed on itself, forming a cosmic singularity. I was in another room when it happened, attending a party that my ferrets were putting on in celebration of "Chill Out Day" (the ferrets celebrate "Chill Out Day" roughly four times a week), but I heard a noise that sounded like a cross between a laughing baby and fingernails on a chalkboard and went into the kitchen to check it out. Unfortunately I stepped too close to the sink while I was inspecting the phenomenon, and got sucked straight in.

As I weightlessly careened through the void for what seemed like eternity, I started thinking about all the things in the kitchen that I would really miss. Like the broken wind-up alarm clock on the fridge, and the white porcelain elephant sugar and milk containers. Suddenly, with a *thud*, I landed on the pillow—or at least I thought it was a pillow. In reality, I had landed on a giant marshmallow. After a brief pause, the marshmallow began to sing "Video Killed the Radio Star." Let me tell you something, marshmallows have horrible pitch... yikes.

So as I'm clasping my hands over my ears, trying desperately to think of a way to escape and get back to the ferrets' party, I notice a doorway to my left. I floated over to it and walked through, and was greeted by the almighty half-full tube of antibiotic ointment. The ointment then gave me the magic ethernet dongle, which had the following instructions printed on the side:
Insert in side of computer (or head).
Plug in ethernet (or pinky finger).
So I did as instructed, and kriz-neop, I was back in my kitchen, the singularity had disappeared, and the dirty dishes were back in their original position. I ran and grabbed the digital camera and snapped the picture below, then immediately cleaned the dishes. Hopefully that stops the singularity from coming back, because I don't want to be transported to another parallel dimension, unless it is one where the hot marshmallow queen fawns over my stunning charm and good looks and obeys my every command. That wouldn't be too bad.
dirty dishes

Categories: Personal

3 Comments:

Anonymous Father Cory said...

Those are sweet spoons.

5:53 AM, September 04, 2005  
Anonymous Kiddo said...

Ha. A spoon is a spoon is a spoon.

5:44 PM, September 04, 2005  
Blogger Jesta said...

The moral of the story: do not let the dishes pile up in the sink.

9:56 PM, September 05, 2005  

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