Monday, September 26, 2005

Kid Safe Snacks!

The child is scared of unsafe snacks.I saw a sign at the grocery store this weekend that touted some cheeses as "Kid Safe Snacks" and it really got me wondering some things.

For starters, what makes these snacks "safe" for kids? Is it impossible to choke on, or be poisoned by them? Or maybe the packaging has nothing but soft furry intolerable children's television show characters on them. Did they decide not to package them with shards of glass? The world is fraught with dangers that we must protect our children from lest they die a horrible death at a young age like so many of our ancestors did in the time before Kid Safe Snacks. What makes these safe for our children?

Also, what would make a "Kid Hazardous Snack"? Perhaps upon opening it would shout obscenities at a child. Or maybe Kid Hazardous Snacks come in the shape of a sea urchin. Probably they don't meet federal child-safety regulations, requiring a five-point harness on each snack, a maximum fifteen degree arch on all edges, and no more than six unpronounceable ingredients. Who knows.

Interestingly, this label was only placed above these cheeses, and not next to any of the various fruits or vegetables in the neighboring produce section. Good thing I have signs like that to tell me what is safe for kids. Otherwise I might buy a dangerous nectarine or orange for the children, instead of the properly processed and packaged consumer goods. Phew, that was a close one.
image sourceCategories: Culture


Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe if you would become a Daddy Skor Grimm, you would be more qualified to criticize. So get to it!

3:52 PM, September 26, 2005  
Anonymous Rebekah said...

Oh no! I wonder who that could be! (as I roll my eyes)

You are the skeptic aren't you. Did you read the ingredients of the snacks in quetion? Did you test them on a child to see if they were safe? Well, did you? ;)

6:32 PM, September 26, 2005  
Blogger Father Cory said...

You should've found a kid to test the products upon. You know, just to be sure.

10:27 PM, September 26, 2005  
Blogger Skor Grimm said...

Anonymous, if you would like Skor Grimm to become a daddy, maybe you and your man should lead by example! So how about you get on that, starting tonight. Better yet, stop whatever you're doing and get on that right now.

We're all on equal fertility footing here. Those who want the children should produce them themselves. *wink*

11:12 AM, September 27, 2005  
Anonymous Rebekah said...

Maybe I was wrong in my guess concerning who anonymous is. Boy do I feel silly!

3:19 PM, September 27, 2005  

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