Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Listening to the Niceness Gnome

Do you ever have those times when you're in a situation and there's something you'd just really like to do, but it's almost like there's a little gnome inside you or something telling you that you really shouldn't? Some people like to use fancy words for it like consci-something, but I just like to call it the Niceness Gnome. He's really a nice guy, but to be honest sometimes the Niceness Gnome really gets on my nerves.

For instance, when I'm talking to someone and they say something absolutely stupid. I'm just about to punch them in the face for saying such an idiotic thing when the Niceness Gnome says: "Don't do that. It wouldn't be very nice." Pfft. Or how about when I just read an argument someone made on the Internet that was full of gaping holes and insulting to my intelligence and I'm about to fire off a retaliatory post or comment? Here comes the Niceness Gnome... "Don't you think you should be saying nice things, instead?"

The thing of it is, the Niceness Gnome doesn't even usually have a very good argument to back up his proposals. He just pops in and tells me to be nice. Even though I can think of lots of reasons not to listen to him, like when the puppy comes running up to me with its tail wagging and I realize how funny it would be to pick it up, act nice to it for a few seconds, then suddenly hurl it through the air and yell UNCLEAN! The Niceness Gnome doesn't say: "You're wrong. That wouldn't be very funny." He just says "That's the kind of thing that evil people do. You don't want to do that."

Well he's wrong. I do want to do un-nice things, lots of times. But instead I do what he tells me. Mainly I'm hoping that if I do what he says, he'll eventually show me where he keeps his buried treasure.
Categories: Personal


Anonymous The Meanness Gnome said...

That's the stupidest thing I've ever read.

And you're dumb.

I hope your eyeballs fall out of your head and into your spaghetti dinner.

11:48 AM, November 03, 2005  
Blogger Skor Grimm said...

Ha ha! The joke's on you, M.G.! My eyeballs landed in my chicken soup after they fell out of my head!

11:53 AM, November 03, 2005  
Anonymous Jen said...

hmmm. . . I always thought the NG was named Jesus.

3:23 PM, November 03, 2005  
Blogger Father Cory said...

XD Throwing that puppy would indeed be funny. Cursed gnomes!

5:30 PM, November 03, 2005  

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