Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Sorry About That

Sorry about not making any posts yesterday. It's just that I liked that Q-tips post so much that I wanted it to stay at the top for a little extra time. That way it is easier for me to load up my own blog and read it and re-read it, and get a good laugh out of it again and again. Hopefully you can understand.

Anyway, moving on... Let me tell you a little story. One time there was an ant. One day, suddenly and completely inexplicably, the ant became self-aware. It thought to itself "hey, I exist, and I'm in control of my own destiny!" It was definitely a big deal for an ant to have these sorts of thoughts. In fact the ant itself realized what a big deal it was, and tried to communicate it to others in ant-kind, but none of them could be bothered to listen. So the ant set out in search of someone it could declare its self-realization to.

Ant HeadAfter walking for what seemed like hundreds of miles (but was really only a few hundred feet), the ant came upon a bird. For a moment the thought of engaging the bird in conversation crossed the ant's mind, but it realized that it would be likely to be eaten if it drew attention to itself. Quietly it slipped by the bird, continuing its quest, until eventually it discovered a mind-bogglingly enormous structure that was clearly not of natural origin. "This must be evidence of another self-aware creature," reasoned the ant.

Making its way around the perimeter of the edifice, searching for a way in, the ant could barely contain its enthusiasm. "It will be good to share existence with someone else," it pondered. Finally it discovered an opening, and giddily made its way inside. Exploring the interior of the structure proved to be even more exciting than the ant had thought, and before long the ant was lost in thought.

"What was that?" A rumbling in the ground had shaken the ant from its daydreaming state. The ant was so energized and eager about meeting the creator of this amazing place he was nearly incontinent. Just then a massive form appeared from around the corner. As it drew nearer, the ant called out: "Hello! I exist!" Apparently unaware of the ant's presence, the giant life form continued about its business. Determined to get its attention, the ant decided to take drastic measures.

It made its way to the creature's base and began climbing the vast length to what the ant assumed was the creature's head. Crawling and clinging for dear life over chasms and peaks, the ant toiled its way further and further upward. At last the ant was nearing the head, and the ant began to shout again: "Hey, you! Over here! I exist!" Stomping all six of his feet and shouting with all the strength it could muster, finally the colossal being seemed to take notice. "Finally," sighed the ant, "someone to share—" Before the ant could finish the thought, one the creature's massive appendages swept down as if from nowhere, landing squarely and forcefully on the ant, instantly crushing it.

"Stupid ants," muttered the boy as he brushed the remains of the ant off his neck. "How do they keep getting in here," he wondered as he finished making his sandwich.
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