Monday, November 07, 2005

Unintentionally Funny Political Mailings

With election day just around the corner and so many big initiatives and important local candidates on the ballot, voters far and wide have no doubt been receiving an endless stream of campaign advertising in the mail. Skor is of course no exception, as nearly every day the contents of my mailbox bring some vote-able issue to my attention. Many of these mailings are fairly benign affairs, full of the usual "I'm so great, here's why you should vote for me" tripe.

However, some of the mailings dare to be bold, sinking straight to the bottom of the sewage with the aid of lies, slander, and outright emotional pandering. I would like to take an opportunity at this time to mercilessly mock these, the "cream of the crop" of this year's political mailings (in my area—your results may vary). I've placed the meat of this post into an expandable hidden section, on account of how many images there are. Plus I wouldn't want my readers to be exposed to this kind of drivel without warning.

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NO on 912
First off we've got this splendid ad urging me to vote no on I-912. As you probably know, I-912 would eliminate the recent 9.5 cent per gallon gasoline tax increase that was passed by the legislature.
NO on 912 (for reasons having nothing to do with 912)
That's right, vote NO on I-912, because it's a plan to do NOTHING about traffic, dirty bridges, and potholes on city streets. Except that the 9.5 cent gas tax was not designed to alleviate traffic, and definitely doesn't have anything to do with upkeep of city streets, where the majority of potholes are found. Page 2 continues the amusingly transparent lie parade with a map of Washington State and 274 little dots all over it. Supposedly these are projects that will be "cancelled" if I-912 passes. Except that the 9.5 cent tax was only part of an overall transportation tax hike, and these 274 projects are only the ones they may spend it on. Plus, you pretty much get the shaft if you live outside of the Puget Sound area, which makes the flier look more like a "Vote YES on I-912" ad for them. Suckers.

Page 3 has a graph, which is more than enough to convince me that whatever they're saying must be right. I mean, look at the red arrow—it's going up! It also promises that if I-912 passes, we will get "more of the same," which is funny to me, because in the case of the government I've always defined "more of the same" as "let's tax our way out of our problems!"

In closing, we are reminded in very large, bold text that if I-912 passes, there will magically be more traffic, more cost, and more risk for each and every unwitting resident of Washington. The only bit they left out that would have made this mailing better was "For the love of God, vote NO on I-912! Think of the children!" That would have really been a swell finishing touch.
Save Kenmore Lanes
Next up is this flier. Put out by a group called "Save Kenmore Lanes," it urges the recipient to elect certain candidates to the Kenmore city council.
Save Kenmore Lanes!* (*This election has absolutely nothing to do with bowling.)
So basically the message here is that voting for the "wrong" candidates for the Kenmore City Council is equivalent to personally driving a bulldozer through Kenmore Lanes (the large local bowling alley). Or, the message might have something to do with photoshopping the Kenmore Lanes sign. Maybe certain candidates are excellent graphic artists.

The back side of this single-page flier explains the difference between the "good guys" and the "bad guys." See, the bad guys "didn't get the message when Kenmore voters went to the polls in 2004 and [achem...] decided to save Kenmore Lanes." I guess I didn't get the message either, considering that the margin on the advisory measure was a whopping 48 out of 6,082 votes (give or take a few hundred—this is King County after all). What a strong message that less than one percent margin sent. Especially considering that banning card rooms actually has nothing to do with the bowling alley.
Ron Sims for King County Executive
Lastly, take a gander at this gem. Ron Sims has truly done a great service to the community here by taking the time to thoughtfully point out the differences between his values and those of his opponent, David Irons.
David Irons values DIRTY WATER and WORSE TRAFFIC!David Irons values MORE CASINOS and UNCHECKED SPRAWL!
Wow. Who could have guessed that David Irons actually values things like dirty water, worse traffic, more casinos, and unchecked sprawl? And that's just the things that they were able to fit in this flier. I'll bet he drowns kittens, drinks used motor oil, likes homelessness, and gives little children candy just so he can steal it back. What a monster. Who would want him as their County Executive? Clearly only a person with similarly evil motives could possibly bring themselves to vote for such a candidate.

Now, see Ron Sims, he values good things, like clean water and smiling children. I know it's true because the pictures tell me so. Thank you so much Ron Sims, for enlightening us as to the true values of you and your opponent!
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Categories: Politics

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sims campaigns flier filled with several lies. Oh well what else is new!!

2:39 PM, November 07, 2005  
Blogger christmasghost said...

skor....that's a classic on the ron sims campaign! thanks for the big laugh...and you have my sypathies for STILL being stuck with that complete idiot. better luck next election.oh, that's right.....dean logan will STILL be counting the "votes".
never mind.........

6:45 PM, November 12, 2005  
Blogger christmasghost said...

skor....that's a classic on the ron sims campaign! thanks for the big laugh...and you have my sympathy for STILL being stuck with that complete idiot. better luck next election.oh, that's right.....dean logan will STILL be counting the "votes".
never mind.........

6:46 PM, November 12, 2005  

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