Monday, April 24, 2006

Disguising the Disgusting

As you may recall, if there's one beverage that I really detest, it's coffee. This puts me in an interesting situation. Living in Seattle and hating the devil's black brew is probably akin to living in Texas and hating high school football or living in France and hating surrender. That is to say, I just don't have very many local peers that sympathize with or even comprehend my preference.

In fact, some of my friends not only fail to understand just how deeply I despise coffee, but they seem to have taken it as a personal challenge to convert me to their cult of the sinister sludge. Once in a while they attempt to offer me some coffee-based drink—you know, just in case I have perhaps changed my mind. Or sometimes they'll try to push some mocha or latté aberration on me, proclaiming: "It's got so much milk / chocolate / caramel / sugar / all-of-the-above in it, that you can hardly taste the coffee!"

Okay, let me ask you something. Do you like to eat dirt? No? Well what if I made some brownies, and dirt was just one of the ingredients? You know, there would be so much sugar, flour, and cocoa in the brownies that you would hardly be able to taste the dirt! Does that sound good? NO! Of course it doesn't sound good! You just don't like to eat dirt, so the very thought of consuming dirt in any form causes your lunch to plot an escape route from your stomach. Brownies are good if there is no dirt in them at all! If a drink that's loaded with sugar, milk, and chocolate is so good, wouldn't it be even better if you left out the disgusting coffee? Of course it would.

How about we make a deal—I'll become a regular coffee drinker when you become a regular dirt eater.
Categories: Personal, Culture


Blogger LotharBot said...

Skor, you're my hero.

2:55 PM, April 24, 2006  

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