Monday, May 22, 2006

Workplace Conversation

Setting: Late afternoon impromptu meeting between Boss and Employee.

Boss: Employee, we need to talk about your Internet habits.
Employee: Okay, what's up?
B: I've noticed that you've been checking your personal email a lot lately.
E: I do check my personal email online occasionally, yes...
B: It's more than occasionally, it's almost every time I look over your shoulder, which I do quite often.
E: Hmm, okay... well am I not completing my assigned tasks in an acceptable time?
B: That's not a problem. In fact I'm quite pleased with your work.
E: Then what's the problem with checking my email once in a while?
B: It gives the appearance that you're not doing work.
E: But we just established that I am doing work. Good work, even. Other than lunch, I don't take structured breaks (as I am legally allowed), so instead I spend a few seconds here and there checking my email.
B: I don't take breaks, either. In fact, I regularly work longer hours than I'm required to, and I eat my lunch in five minutes flat. Why do you have to check your personal email, anyway? I frequently go days without checking mine.
E: Well, I don't have to any more than our other coworkers have to spend time discussing what they did last weekend or their children's latest antics, I just like to. How about this, what if I set aside a few regularly-scheduled breaks—say five minutes a piece—would that work?
B: You know, when I come in to work, I think of nothing other than work all day long. Not once do my thoughts stray from performing my job, from the time I walk in the door to the time I get in my car.
E: Okay... see the thing is... I'm not a robot. I occasionally need a human diversion.
B: ERROR. DOES NOT COMPUTE.
Categories: Personal, Culture

2 Comments:

Blogger DaButtminster said...

Is this whats-his-butt from your previous employer? I thought he was cooler than that . . .

10:37 AM, May 22, 2006  
Blogger DaButtminster said...

Rumors of Skor's death are greatly exagerrated.

8:36 AM, June 01, 2006  

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