Thursday, July 13, 2006

Cow vs. Stu

Want to hear an amusing story? Of course you don't, but that's too bad, because I'm going to tell one anyway. As you obviously are well aware, Skor's inspiration for posting in this blog has been rather... lacking as of late. What brought on this drought is a deep mystery lost to the ages (and the circles and the ages and the ages). But the fact that Skor hasn't been posting on the blog isn't an amusing story. It's not even a mildly interesting story. It's just boring.

The following tale may not be amusing either, but hopefully it at least won't put you to sleep. In the last few days, a series of events has transpired that has revived the creative spirit within Skor. Ironically, the individual that instigated the series of events apparently intended to silence Skor, when in fact his actions have resulted in the exact opposite result. The thing is, when assaulted by angry jerk-faces wielding an extremely limited vocabulary, Skor's reaction is one of amused vengeance, rather than cowering submission.

this cow is angryPerhaps the details of this story are a bit too vague to be amusing. Allow me to elaborate by way of analogy. Imagine a cow named Nebuchadnezzar, that writes a column for the local newsletter. Nebuchadnezzar the newsletter-writing cow. One day Nebuchadnezzar writes a column that upsets someone. Much, much, later, a friend of the upset person (we'll call the friend Stu) shows up at Nebuchadnezzar's door with a flaming torch and a pitchfork. When Nebuchadnezzar opens the door, Stu spits in his face and dances on his pet hedgehog's grave. Nebuchadnezzar tries to reason with Stu, but unfortunately Stu does not have the mental capacity for reason. He just starts reciting the Gettysburg Address and then sets fire to Nebuchadnezzar's lawn (which is also his food supply—he is a cow, after all). Fed up with the juvenile antics of Stu, Nebuchadnezzar decides to take matters into his own hooves. He squirts vinegar in Stu's eyes, and stomps on his toes. Stu shrieks like a little girl, and runs (limps) away crying.

What Skor has been through in the past week is basically like that, except with a higher concentration of fresh raspberries. Now you can understand Skor's new-found inspiration for making posts again.

image sourceCategories: Personal


Blogger MatthewOfTheWest said...

Ah, the return of Skor. Always a pain when people come out with the torch and pitchfork. Good times, good times.

8:02 PM, July 22, 2006  

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