Monday, July 17, 2006

Grammar-tastic Radio Sales Pitches

On my way home from work a few days ago, I heard a pair of radio advertisements with the following quotes:
"If you're concerned about your health, reduced x-ray exposure, and the use of biocompatible materials is a service we provide."
Huh? If I am concerned about three things: my health, reduced x-ray exposure, and the use of biocompatible materials... what is the service they provide? They say "is a service we provide," so they're only talking about one service. If the service they provide is the use of biocompatible materials, how does that address my concerns about reduced x-ray exposure? And why the comma between "your health" and "reduced x-ray exposure"? I'm so confused.

Here's the second gem:
"It's like having a personal masseuse for every member of your family and lifestyle."
SayWA? I was with them up until "and lifestyle." I didn't know that my lifestyle has members, and I certainly wasn't aware that those members of my lifestyle were in need of a masseuse. I know I didn't mis-hear the ad, because it has played two or three times. I swear that's the actual quote.

Is it just me, or are both of those sentences almost completely incomprehensible? When you're advertising the benefits of your product or service, don't you want prospective customers to actually have some clue what those benefits are? I'm completely at a loss to explain what point these advertisements were trying to get across. All I heard was "we failed second-grade English."
Categories: Capitalism


Anonymous rgb said...

This is only my second comment posted ever. That whole cow story had me howling. I just had to let you know that you must keep writing this stuff. You provide a valuable service, though its not like selling cookies or anything. Keep up the good fight.

1:02 PM, August 24, 2006  

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